As someone who hasn’t had the best experience with university so far, I can now see how expectations and general perception of what uni SHOULD be like is an incredibly toxic and forced idea. I certainly went to university with an idea that I’d meet so many new people and make friends for life, but the actual reality Is that after 1st year, I left with less friends than I started with. I have no problems making friends outside of uni and I have my old friends back home, but here, I am completely alone in regard to friends. Anyway, here are 5 reasons why university can be toxic…
1) The Idea That You Constantly Have to Go Out (Especially in Freshers Week) – if you don’t like to go out, you are seen as a weird, social recluse and you’re eventually excluded. Portsmouth uni is one of the worst uni’s for this. The nightlife is very excessive, with 2 clubs opposite each other and another just down the road (literally). Every night has a different event and freshers is two weeks instead of one, now some people might love this, but others who choose not to go out every 2 minutes are considered a bore.
This is probably the hardest thing for me. I have always loved a house party and enjoy drinking! Sue me! Having a late birthday however, meant that I was 18 a lot later than everyone else and they had all got bored of clubbing by then, so I never really got to experience it. I then went to uni and went out once with my flatmate right at the start and realised I really bloody liked it. But when that friendship died off I had no one to go out with. I knew that a large part of university lifestyle was going out, so it upset me (and still does) that I was missing out on it. I went out a few times with my boyfriend and it was really great fun, but I’d still love to be able to go out with a girl group yanno? So, my problem wasn’t that I didn’t want to go out, I did, but I had no one to go with.
2) Drugs – You can’t escape them and I’m not talking weed. MDMA, Ketamine, Cocaine, LSD, Ecstasy, you name it it’s here. I’m obviously not trying to control people, take whatever you want that’s completely your choice, but what’s not cool is when people get coerced into doing something they don’t want to do in order to “fit in”. It’s a difficult situation to be around, especially when you’re just in the kitchen trying to cook a pizza with various pills laying about. I’ve also lost count of how many people I know that have been spiked in a club. It’s so scary. Girls have woken up surrounded by people they don’t know, and they can barely move or remember where they are! My friend from home got spiked in a club and he was incredibly sick for so long afterwards, even though he thought he had kept an eye on his drink. It really can happen to anyone and the effects can be awful.
3) People’s Perception of Uni Lifestyle – I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “the best years of your life” thrown about all the time. Well I’m also sure that you’ve heard the expression “ignorance is bliss”! People have absolutely no idea, and those that do believe it to be true, have had a much better time than me. This saying is yet another standard to live up to and when you don’t it feels awful. I so wish that I could look back and say I had the best time at uni, but I didn’t and there’s nothing I can do to change that now.
4) Halls – If you don’t make friends, life can be hell. It’s essentially all down to luck because you could be with nice people who are very much like you or on the other hand, loud, rude, inconsiderate fucks. I didn’t have anyone like me in my halls, but they also weren’t rude or loud, so I suppose I was “lucky”. I still spent 90% of my time alone in my room talking to no-one, but to be fair at least I wasn’t being kept up all night. *if you are interested in my halls experience check out my other blog post*.
5) Friends – If you don’t make any friends its awful. I’ve already touched on this above, so I can most of leave it to your imagination. It can be an incredibly lonely place especially when everything has told you that you have to make friends to have a good time. It’s also incredibly difficult when you are constantly faced with everyone else having a great time on every social media platform possible...
***
University can be an incredibly disappointing place especially if you were expecting something great. It’s a huge shame and I hope that there aren’t many people who experience university in this way. Public perception is a huge issue and I think that because there is such a stigma surrounding university, it can feel even worse when you don’t live up to those expectations. I also just want to say that every uni is different, expectations are generally the same, but drugs/ nightclub issues may be more relevant to Portsmouth than every other uni.
I hope you enjoyed this post. I think it’s important to discuss university from another point of view!
A x